Stagnation

You don't have to know me well at all to know that I enjoy & follow the ministry of Beth Moore.
She almost always makes me laugh. She sometimes makes me cry.
She encourages believers to read & study The Word because she knows The Word is life to God's children. She's right.

But today, she provoked me to thought. I believe that's the mark of an effective minister or ministry.
In fact, I think it's the job of those in ministry, nay, their responsibility, to do just that and do it often.

If I'm not thinking, I'm not learning. If I'm not learning, I become stagnant.

Stagnant: adj., not flowing; stale; not advancing or developing.  Ewwww ... no bueno.

The provocation? Her question:

"What do you look like when you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength?"

I read it again. Only this time it was personal:

"Kimberly, what do you look like when you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength?"

If I'd been standing in front of mirror at that moment, I fear I would have been unrecognizable.

The truth is I hadn't thought about anything faintly resembling that in quite a while. <insert stagnation here>  The elements contributing to the stagnation process?

Pain.

Tears.

Fear.

Confusion.

Panic.

Anger but not too much. Just enough to bring on ...

Hopelessness.

Isolation.

Distraction.

What prompted the process? That's unimportant.

What is important is recognizing the process exists, regardless of it's stage. Acknowledging it.

I believe that complacency is cancer in the life of the Believer. There's no place for it. Never. EVER.

God doesn't un-call those He has called.  He doesn't un-anoint those He has anointed. He doesn't change. I like love that about Him.

I've taken a good long look and I don't see the same woman in the midst of ministry, full of joy & so in love with her Savior. The woman so appreciative of her salvation, never doubting He loved her and always confident that, in His time, He would meet her every need.

I miss her. I don't think I realized that until just now. She needs to get back to doing her Father's business.  If she has to do it tired and hurting than so be it.

Who would have thought an impromptu blog post by someone several states and a timezone away would have prompted so much thought? I bet Jesus did.  He's awesome like that. ;)

Forever Thankful

Thirteen years ago today, my (then) 20 year old son, Joshua Isaiah, had an accident while on his way to work that included being catapulted into an oncoming train. The impact caused both airbags to deploy and he was ejected from the vehicle backward through the driver's side window (with such force that his shoes were left in the floorboard) and thrown 40 feet onto the highway. Miraculously, he was not hit by traffic on this normally very busy stretch of road.

He was transported to the hospital via ambulance. The assumption was that after such an incident he would surely have broken bones and internal injuries. After a thorough exam by the emergency room physicians and head-to-toe x-rays, his only injuries were a broken tooth, lacerations on his neck (that stitches fixed beautifully), multiple scrapes and scratches on his face and arms and a pretty bad case of road rash on his torso. He was kept overnight for observation and released the next morning.

 

 

 

 

 

March 9th will always be a day that finds me with a thankful heart. I know the outcome could've been very different. Considering the nature of the accident, it probably should've been different but it wasn't.  Thankful doesn't cover it. It's not adequate but for lack of a better word, I'll use it.

 

If I live to be a 150 years old, I'll never be able to thank God enough for the gift He gave me the morning of March 9, 2000. I'm at a loss. There are no words.

 

Thank you Lord.

 



 

23 Years Ago Today

Freddie,

I think of you often but

 every year on your birthday and on
the seventh of March,

 the anniversary of your death,

I think of you a lot.

 

I revisit the events of the evening.

The line of traffic ...

the moment ... the hurt ...

the aftermath.

I remember who you were.

 Handsome.
Looking more like your Uncle Ray than either of his children!
Intense.
Lover of family.
Fiercely protective.

Faithful friend.

 

I imagine what you would have become.
 

What would life have had in store for you ...

A career? A wife & children?

 

Family get togethers still include you.
Stories told and retold of you and
(dare I say it ;) your shananigans.
 

Laughter through tears.

 

 

The Ellis Grandchildren -December 1987
Jack, Ker-Rae, Gregory, Kimmy (rear)
RayRay, Shanny, Freddie (sitting)
Philip, Joshua -the great grands (front)
 

Our family has grown since you've been gone.

Between the six of us,

your brothers & four cousins,

there are 14 great-grandchildren.

 

You have four nephews.

Oh how you would have loved them.

You would have been an awesome uncle.

Their biggest fan.

No. Doubt. About. It.

 

Great-great grandchildren have been added to the mix

and this number will grow by leaps & bounds in the years to come!

My four favorite people call me Nana.

My heart now knows why they loved us so much.

 

Mamaw & Papaw Ellis
The best grandparents in the world!

 

Grandchildren rock.

So did they.

But you already knew that!

 

The Ellis Farmhouse

Oh the fun we had in that farmhouse, in that yard, laughing and playing for hours on end.

 

Today I honor your memory.

A life too short.

 

You've been gone longer than you were here.

You have been missed.

 

 

You are missed.

Still today.

Twenty-three years later.

Rest in peace Cousin.
Your memory lives on.
You are loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



"Nana, I miss Kylie" ....

Anna: ".... I wish she could come to your house and play with us".

Me:  "I do too honey."

Anna:  "Can you call her mom or dad and ask them to bring her to 'Follow' Creek so she can play with us?" (Her older sister, Emily, called Fall Creek "Follow" Creek when she was a toddler. I suppose she heard follow when we said fall but it was just too precious to correct so we didn't. For safety's sake, we eventually corrected her just in case she ever really needed to tell someone where Nana lived. They both know it's Fall Creek now but still refer to it as "Follow" Creek. It makes me smile)

Me: "Baby, Uncle Josh isn't home and Aunt Gina can't bring her here. She's far away".

Anna: "I know but she better come here before she moves farther". (Outta the mouth of babes.)

Although Kylie (along with her daddy & mom) moved away to Great Lakes, IL a month before Anna Elisabeth was even born, she misses her cousin. From Great Lakes, IL (for 7-months) the Navy moved them to San Diego, CA (for a year) and from there to Mayport, FL (where they've been for 4-years). Kylie was only 16 months old herself when her family moved to Illinois. 

Em and Anna won't realize how much time was spent away from their cousin until they are all, a bit older. Here at Nana's house, and in their home as well, pics are everywhere of Miss Kylie and her parents. Conversations include her on a regular basis and it feels (to them) like they know their cousin very well even though they've shared very little time together in the physical sense. She's not here physically but she's always, always in our hearts and that's a big deal. 

New Year's Eve always finds me sentimental (I can only imagine I'm not alone in this ladies. Am I right?) I reflect on the past year. It's memories. It's circumstances. I compare it to our present state of being (this is not always a good idea) and then I think of the actual day.

What were we doing New Year's Eve 2011?

Last year both my sons along with their wives and daughters were here with us, in the home they both grew up in on "Follow" Creek. There was lots of food and lots of giggles from the grandgirlies. It was a good night. One that I've thought of several times in 2012. One of the times that a momma keeps in her heart and draws from when that Sailor and his family feel even farther away then they actually are. 

This evening, as we prepare for the new year (and by prepare I mean eat out at the local Mexican restaurant and stop by the store to grab a head of cabbage) I can't get my Sailor son and his family out of my mind (not that I've tried ;). April 2013 will find him back home with his wife and daughter before he's transferred to Texas which, as Anna predicted, is indeed farther away. The difference being is that he'll be on shore duty for three years. That makes his momma very happy.

2012 will go down in the history as a very different year for The Dials here on Follow Creek but that's okay. We're a tough lot with faith in a great God. Everything and everyone will be okay. I know that.

Me & my precious Anna Elisabeth, Dec. 2012

Of course, Miss Vivi was still in-utero this time last year and didn't make her appearance until April 2012. Her momma named her "Vivian" which means "alive, animated, lively" and she has certainly lived up to her name. I look forward to seeing what next year holds for "Vivilicious" -aka "Squishy" in certain circles ;) 

Happy New Year to you and yours my bloggy friends.  I pray choice blessings overtake you in 2013!

Christmas 2012

Today is December 25th, which means it's Christmas!

 

I hope this finds you either in the midst of enjoying every minute of the day or maybe just having finished up having a grand time with family, friends and all those you hold dear.

 

Christmas is something I have struggled with this year. Not struggled in the way you might think. I love Christmas. In my opinion it really is the most wonderful time of the year.

 

The truth is that 2012 has been a very different year in our home and I've had to work up every ounce of Christmas Spirit I've had. I've literally had to will myself to be merry & I can honestly say that I've never had to do that before.

Soon the tree will come down, "Edgar" (our "Elf on a Shelf") will be packed away (which reminds me, I gotta get him down from the tree top before the grandgirlies wonder why he didn't go back with Santa last night) as we prepare to welcome 2013 (silly Mayans! ;)

It's then that our lives will return to normal. While 2013 will not be without it's challenges I'm looking forward to the new year. I plan to use this last week of December mindfully, wrap up 2012 in a pretty bow & put it behind me.

 

I believe that one day (only God knows when) I'll look back on this year and know why those lessons learned were necessary but until then, I'll trust in the Lord. It's a must.

 

~ Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:5,6) ~

 

Sounds like a great place to start.

 

Merry Christmas!

 

 

 



Oh where, Oh where ....

has my Christmas spirit gone?

Oh where, oh where can it be?

 

I'm not sure.

Well, that's not entirely true.

I kinda know.

The story could, quite possibly, involve Kleenex &

tears are never helpful when one is in search of

her Christmas Spirit ;)

 

"Kimberly's Kollection"

is decorated for the season but the house, now that may be a while longer. Thankfully this year November had five Thursdays

so we still have a week before it's even December.

That will work in my favor for sure.

When folks ask me

(and by folks I mean the grandgirlies)

"Why don't you have your tree up yet?"

or

"Why hasn't "Edgar" come to your house yet?"

(Edgar is our "Elf on a Shelf")

 

I can say

"It's not even December yet."

Brilliant!

Yep, that'll work ...

for a week any way ;)

 

I hope this finds you having just enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving & preparing for a Merry Christmas with lots of family & friends.

 

As for me, I'm off to watch more Christmas movies on

The Hallmark Channel & I thought about making pumpkin bread ...

that sounds like a recipe for some Christmas spirit, right? ;)

 

 

 

 

 



My baby is thirty ... sniff, sniff



I know that you mommas will all agree. There is nothing in the world that will make you more sentimental than your children's birthdays. No matter how old they are.

My baby is 30 today. Since I didn't take my own 30th birthday well, I see no reason to take his well either.  Having woke up in the wee hours of the morning, my thoughts have been directed toward the birthday boy and his brother (his senior by 2-years, 6-months & 26 days :). These thoughts have prompted me to cry for them, laugh for them but, most of all thank God for them ... and their daddy who made it all possible! (I told you I was feeling sentimental & not just a little ;)

Regrets? Of course. There are a few but really only three. Well, three biggies any way & I believe - all sentimentality aside - that without these three things nagging at my maternal heartstrings - all others would be rendered moot.

#1   I wish I'd taken more time to soak both of them in, slow down and cherish more of the moments with those precious boy bundles God so graciously entrusted to me. You see, I'm a firm believer that "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". Motherhood is the highest calling & to do it well takes everything you have within you and then some.

#2   I wish I had never uttered the word "hurry" to either one of them. What was I in such a hurry about anyway? If I could, I'd go back and replace every "Hurry" with "Don't worry. Momma will wait. Take your time precious one" ... but I can't and it makes me sad ... very sad.

My pregnancy with him was uneventful. His birth was not. I'll spare you the details ("You're welcome") but an emergency Cesarean produced a beautiful, 8 lb., 9 oz. baby boy with a head full of black hair ... perfection!  We both came home 5-days later, which also happened to be my 21st birthday.

His brother had some difficulty pronouncing the words baby and Philip so our new addition quickly become known within our family as "Bobby Phipp" . We've long since dropped the bobby but he remains Phipp (or Phipper) ... nicknames in Appalachia hold hard!

#3  I wish with all my heart that I'd had more children. At least two more. This regret is not a new one. I've felt it since they were both in junior high. The decision to stop at two children was strictly financial and now (5-days shy of 51) that seems an especially foolish decision to make so early in life (I was 21 - what was I thinking!) Of course, if you've known me (since becoming a mother) you'd know that the feeling of Fall in the air brings about visions of newborn wonderfulness & I ovulate ... even post hysterectomy! ;) 

With all that said, I'm so thankful for my boys. I never had a preference as to what gender either pregnancy produced.  I never gave it a second thought either way. Health was my only concern. (Perhaps I would've eventually had an opinion if I'd continued and kept popping out sons!)  Of course, back in the Stone Ages, you had to be prepared for either/or. There was no ultrasound "Gender Day".  You bought lots of green & yellow and you had  two names picked out. (I still remember them - Joshua Isaiah would have been "Rhonda Leigh" & Philip Andrew would have been "Candace" - her middle name was still up in the air :)   I stand amazed by God and His forethought and care for our future ... Of course, He would give me sons. There was no room in my home for another female suffering from PMS ... He gives us what we need ... He is infinitely wise! :)

Happy 30th birthday Philip Andrew!

Your momma loves you more than you'll ever know my sweet boy!